Healing the Wound of the Mother
We heal our disconnection with our own feminine nature by consciously connecting to the energy of the Mother.
As a woman, one of the first things we need to do, to move towards our own self-empowerment and love our inherent feminine nature, is to acknowledge the Mother within.
Many women do this is the course of their lives in their day to day interaction with their real-life mother, if they are lucky enough to have her around being an active part of their lives.
But not all women have the luxury or the inclination to work through childhood issues in face-to-face interaction with their mother. For some their mother may be deceased, ill or estranged, or in some other way unavailable, to experience day-to-day updates on old scripts that have never had a chance to be rewritten.
As a child you were unable to separate between what you felt that you needed and what your mother could provide in the circumstances that prevailed at the time. Remember your perception of her as a person has been prejudiced by your lifetime personal relationship with her.
If she wasn’t always able to fulfill your needs, you will have personalised this experience and taken it on as a negative belief about your self-worth. It is this distorted perception – that your mother does not value you or love you enough – that needs to be healed for you to fully appreciate and acknowledge yourself.
In most cases, it is a misperception that your mother didn’t love you enough. Because of your childhood need for total love and acceptance always, you may have misinterpreted many situations as evidence that your mother didn’t care for you.
As an infant, you would not have been able to discern all the factors that may have contributed to any given situation, in which for example, you may have felt unloved. However, this is precisely the time when your psychological programming was being laid down in your neural network.
Many beliefs about yourself stemming from these early developmental days became hard and fast attitudes as you grew up. By its very nature, this ‘programming’ process leads to faulty beliefs being laid down in the circuitry. Regardless of the best or worst intentions of your parents, significant programming occurred, which was a distortion of reality.
As the child morphs into the woman, and especially when she is moving into the Mother phase in her own life, she needs to re-evaluate her beliefs around her mother and the quality of her own mothering.
Sometimes, there is a long history of misunderstandings, resentments, incongruity and dislike that affects a woman’s present relationship with her mother. If these feelings drive your relationship with your mother, or there are unresolved matters that still hurt, you will experience self-esteem and self-worth issues. These will be passed on to your own child, if there are not resolved.
Asking a woman to simply forgive a lifetime of perceived hurt can be a tall order. Often the relationship with their mother is so toxic that it affects them on all levels of being, including the physical. In naturopathic diagnostics, it is recognised that women with bowel problems commonly have a current toxic relationship with their mother. To heal on the physical level requires a woman to clear the old toxic patterning of hurt and resentment that still dominates her relationship with her mother.
One of the ways that I work is to have a woman tap into her Archetypal Mother (her idealised mother) to bring about the healing that needs to take place in her heart. Once her own negative feelings are resolved by reprogramming her deepest sense of lack of self-worth, she can begin her journey of healing. She may or may not feel like resolving her issues face-to-face with her real-life mother. If she can’t face the prospect, connecting to the Archetypal Mother will bring about a subtle energetic shift between her real-life mother and herself anyway. In a toxic relationship, when one party comes to a healing resolution, the other party always feels the benefit of the change, in the ongoing relationship. That is the nature of energetic healing.
There are many ways to connect with the Archetypal Mother. They all involve taking time for oneself, by embarking on an inner journey of self-nurturing. Some will take the path of journaling – making daily entries into a journal for ten minutes a day. Others will do it through drawing, painting or writingor some other creative pursuit. While others will prefer to enjoy quiet meditations dedicated to healing their ‘mother stuff’.
There is beautiful meditation on ‘Healing the Mother Within’ in my book The Essence of Woman available at Sowelu Centre, 83 Latrobe Tce, Paddington. You can phone an order in to be speed-posted to you on 07 3367 1950. Just remember to add postage to the retail price of $37.00 or you can click here to order online.
What a superb Mother’s Day present for you, your Mum, and your daughter/s!!